Bazooka Saw a Diamond
by roguedoll
Summary: Confused Tattoo Artist? Hush, Hush Diamond Rings? And Beachhead, well, being Beachhead? Just another Lunch at the GI Joe DFAC.


_As Always I don't own the characters Hasbro Does..._

 _This is an old story that I wrote a long time ago... I think it was 2003. It was posted on the Undercover With the Joes fanfiction group. It's one that I have always been a little shy about posting due to it's not my normal writing style. I polished it up and throwing it out here. I would love to thank Robin who was my Beta on this._

"I tell you, you're wrong," Alpine said as he stabbed a green bean a little too viciously.

"Nope." Ripcord amused at the black man's expression laughed. "I know what I saw." He chuckled again at the glare Alpine sent him.

"What did you see?" The familiar voice made all the men jump and look at the beautiful brunette; who was sliding in next to a sheepish looking Alpine.

"Diamond," Bazooka explained ignoring the glare from Ripcord.

Lady Jaye frowned as she looked at the date on the cartoon. After a mental battle, she shrugged her shoulders and began shaking her milk carton.

"Bazooka," Ripcord hissed, frantically waving his hands across his throat while silently praying Lady Jaye hadn't heard.

Bazooka looked torn between keeping his juicy secret and telling Lady Jaye the truth. Finally, Alpine's and Ripcord's glares made him think better of spilling the beans; so, he looked back at his meal. "Can't say."

To his chagrin, Lady Jaye wasn't going to give up. She leaned in real close, her brown eyes sparkling at him. "Come on `zooka... you can tell me." She smiled, attempting to coax him into lowering his resolve.

"All right," he gulped. "Ripcord saw a diamond ring." Closed his eyes tight hoping she would not question him further because he had a big soft spot for the pretty Covert Ops agent.

Thankfully Lady Jaye turned her attention to Ripcord, "So what's so interesting about a diamond ring? I'll introduce you to my mother. Now she has a diamond ring. I think it's from husband number two. I'm not too sure, though." She replied, pensively tapping her fingers against her cheek.

"I never said anything about a diamond-" Ripcord started but was blissfully interrupted by a small, walking, Asian catastrophe named Jinx.

"Diamond?! Did someone say Diamond." She asked as she sat down next to Lady Jaye. Falcon slid in between Jinx and Lady Jaye looking somewhat morose.

"What's wrong, Falcon? Cheer up! It can't get any worse." Jinx winked at the others and turned back towards Falcon, playfully slapping him on his right shoulder blade, causing him to scream out in pain. All eyes in the mess hall turned on Falcon as he drew in a sharp hiss and narrowed his eyes at Jinx who gave him one of those notorious "It serves you right looks."

"Watch it, woman." He muttered.

"Well Falcon if you and the boys hadn't gotten drunk" Jinx started only to be quickly silenced at the glare Falcon sent her. Lady Jaye burst out laughing at the young lieutenant's discomfort.

"The other guys got one," Falcon whined, trying to get back at Jinx by making a production of eating the more appealing roast beef from the officer's line.

"Okay from Gung-Ho and Shipwreck I can understand," Jaye interjected finally taking a bite of a French fry. She couldn't wonder how they could get the outside overcooked with the inside still being cold.

"Hey, it was your boyfriend's idea." Falcon countered, he was not about to take all the blame on his own.

"No, it was your bright idea." Alpine shot a glare at Falcon "I do remember."

"Alpine don't tell me" Lady Jaye interrupted, attempting not to sound too disappointed in her friend.

"Yep, he got one on his arse," Shipwreck said, sitting down across from Lady Jaye he pilfered a fry from her tray.

"Hey," Lady Jaye snapped; she quickly slapped her hand on Shipwreck's wrist. "Go get your own, sailor." She watched the pirate smirk; she returned his expression with a snarl. They may not have been good fries; but, they were her fries. Reaching for her milk, she took a long drink and studied the other's expressions through lowered lashes.

Jinx impatient with the talk of tattoos glared "I want to get back to this diamond."

"Bazooka said Ripcord saw a diamond ring." Lady Jaye brushed it off never noticing the three men slumping their shoulders in relief when she turned away.

"Is that all? I thought when you said diamond."

"What about a diamond?" Cover Girl interrupted Jinx with Dusty in tow taking a seat across from Lady Jaye. She looked at Ripcord for the dirt, totally missing the look of ire Shipwreck gave Dusty, the Desert Expert returned the look back with a smug smile.

As Cover Girl tried to cajole the story of the diamond ring from Ripcord and Alpine, Gung-Ho and Roadblock appeared, pushing another table over to theirs to see what was so exciting.

A frustrated growl drew everyone's attention to Beach Head standing at the end of the row of tables, glaring in disapproval. Lady Jaye shot up from her seat with her eyebrows raised in defiance. "Show me in the rulebook where we can't put two tables together."

Beachhead grumbled something about going back to his meal while she dropped back down to her seat. No one could help but notice the small tugging at the corners of his mouth as he walked off to his table.

Lady Jaye sat back down looking mournfully at the slop on her plate. With a resigned sigh took one bite of the mystery meat and dropped her fork, disgusted. She pushed the plate away from her.

"Be careful Lady, he already has it out for you. You'll be doing extra pushups tomorrow." Gung-Ho warned.

"So? What's new? He always has extra push-ups for me to do. At least this time it's justified."

"Hey, I want to know about the diamond." All heads turned to Cover Girl who was like a dog with a bone on the subject.

"That was three subjects ago." Ripcord tried to wiggle out of an explanation.

"What's the big deal that Ripcord saw someone buy a diamond ring?" Bazooka shrugged.

"Okay, it went from Ripcord seeing a diamond to him seeing someone buy a diamond ring." Jinx looked at the three men who obviously were not going to say anymore. "Come on, dish." She pleaded, sending her hands wide. Unfortunately, she forgot she had a diet coke in her hand and flung her hand back, striking Falcon in the head. All watched as the can baubles in her grasp, spilling down the front of Falcon's uniform and into his lap.

"Watch out, Jinx!" Falcon cried too late, jumping as the liquid seeped through his pants. Quickly, he grabbed napkins but made the mess worse as he tried to clean it up. Lady Jaye started snickering which caused a glare from Falcon."

Jinx refused to be apologetic; the ninja's warm, brown eyes threw daggers at Falcon; causing the Green Beret to audibly gulp. "Serves you right; you and Flint getting those stupid tattoos."

"Flint got a tattoo? Polo wearing, won't even get his ear pierced Flint has a tattoo?" Duke asked as he and Scarlett sat down. The Team's First Sergeant had just gotten back from a three-week mission in Kosovo. He had not been able to catch up with the team's Executive Officer and his Best Friend.

Lady Jaye sent a triumphant glare in Beachhead's direction when Duke made no comment of the two tables pushed together. "Yep, his isn't as bad as what Alpine got on his `arse'." Lady Jaye explained.

Alpine got up "Wanna See?" It was obvious he was about to drop trow, thankfully, Duke declined.

Looking down the tables, Duke looked unbelievably at Lady Jaye. "We're talking about the Rhodes Scholar Flint, our third in command, got a tattoo?" He looked at Scarlett then back at Jaye. "What is it?"

"Now or was?" Lady Jaye replied exhaling a heavy sigh which emphasized her boredom with the subject.

"Now?" Duke's eyes widened incredulously.

"Three weeks ago, on that hush-hush mission, you sent him on." Lady Jaye tried to jog his memory; when some diplomat had come to the base. Unfortunately, that was the same time Jinx and Falcon had broken up. Duke's half-brother was making a fool of himself. Out of desperation, Duke had begged Flint and a few of the guys to take Falcon off base for the weekend. "They all decided to see who could drink who under the table. After two hundred bucks, a piece, they realized it was not going to happen; so, they went and got tattoos to prove their manhood."

"You're still holding this against him?" Duke asked with humor.

"No, I'm holding it against your half-brother. He's the one with my name tattooed oh his shoulder. Huh, Falcon?" With that, Lady Jaye reared her hand back and slapped Falcon's shoulder. "

AAARRRGGGHHHH.

"So, if he has Lady Jaye, that means Flint had.." Scarlett interjected trying to control her laughter.

"Mine" Jinx added, "Seems they were so drunk they confused the tattoo artist. Flint got his covered over the weekend because he owned up to it to Jaye. You, on the other hand, let it get infected." She glared at Falcon before turning her attention to Duke with her left hand resting on his right shoulder. "Now, he has to wait six weeks." With that, Jinx hit him on the shoulder to drive home her point.

AAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH

"What's wrong, Falcon? The girls beating up on you again?" Flint asked as he came behind Lady Jaye and Falcon. The Officer sent everyone a glare to slide down so he could sit next to his girl.

He sniffed at Lady Jaye's tray and passed it down to Gung-Ho who nodded his thanks. With his lopsided grin and a wink, he placed an officer's tray in front of her with food that was recognizable. Beachhead sent the Warrant Officer a glare which Flint challenged right back.

Settling down, he placed a hand on Falcon's shoulder. "Good work on that last mission." Then his grip tightened causing Falcon to start a stomping and screaming fit from pain.

"Hey Flint, let's see the tat," Gung-Ho said, leaning over to the Warrant Officer. Flint rolled up his sleeve showing Gung-Ho; there on his bicep was an intricate Celtic knot.

"Cool." Gung-Ho nodded in his approval. "So, when are you going to get another?"

"Thinking about one on my shoulder," Flint said, truthfully.

"I told you they were addictive." Gung-Ho nodded, laughing as Lady Jaye shook her head. "Don't worry, Lady, you're next."

"Just keep thinking that Gung-Ho." Jaye tried to dismiss the comment but the sparkle in Jaye's eye told differently.

" I still want to know about someone buying a diamond ring." Cover Girl pouted.

"Who bought a diamond ring?" Scarlett asked, still trying to get back to a subject that was more interesting.

"Ripcord saw someone buying a diamond ring," Jinx said dismissively

having given up on that story,

"The proposing kind" Bazooka was proud to give over that piece of

information but he then realized he had given too much information

out.

"Bazooka! " Alpine admonished him.

"Sorry." The Minnesota native gave his battle a contrite look.

"What? Who? Who? Who?" Cover Girl started jumping up and down in

Ripcord's face.

Alpine seeking to get the blabbermouth out of this situation got up from the table. "Come on Bazooka, let's go play some video games."

An apologetic Bazooka got up "I don't see what the big deal is, so Ripcord saw Flint buy a diamond ring."

That is when chaos broke out. Scarlet and Jinx started screaming though their respective men restrained them. Cover girl who had no one to restrain her was jumping up and down flailing her arms forcing Snake-Eyes ducked out of the way as he passed by them to get a better view. Flint started banging his head on the table saying something about how Oxford was looking very good again and did Bazooka want to propose for him?

Lady Jaye just had a blank look on her face which caused Gung-Ho and Roadblock to crack-up. The fact that for once in her life Lady Jaye was speechless was more than enough reason for them. Ripcord was apologizing to Flint for saying anything to anyone least of all to Bazooka. Alpine started berating Bazooka for not keeping his mouth shut. Strangely enough, the only one that had some sense was Shipwreck. Giving a shrill whistle, he ordered for silence.

To Flint's mortification, Hawk had come over to see what the commotion and watched as Dusty explained it to the General why all the fuss was about. Hawk covering his grin with a stern look to his Third-in-Command. "Well, Flint, do you have anything to say?"

Figuring his plans were completely ruined, he groaned to himself. "So much for plans of grandeur..." Under the watchful eyes of his teammates, he knelt down on bended knee and looked up at Jaye who had finally gotten her wits together enough to realize what was going on.

"Alison, you know I love you. I was wondering if you would do the honor of marrying me?" It was simple, straightforward and to the point. Not how he had wanted to ask her at all; he had thought that he would pull out all the stops in some rehearsed speech, but, he had just bought the damn ring this morning.

Evidently, she said yes, though nobody really remembers her saying the word. They just knew Jaye jumped into Flint's arms nearly toppling them both over.

Hawk chortled at the sight of Falcon giving Lady Jaye a congratulatory slap on her shoulder; a little harder than necessary, before shuddering to himself at images of Flint and Lady Jaye's kids. "God, please, don't let them end up in my unit..."


End file.
